Back to Work
Back to work...out
Because it worked out
The return to the office
For a long time, going back to work after the holidays was the final straw that broke me. I would sob uncontrollably for days on end, begging myself to take action.
However, I was already emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted from dealing with my toxic work environment and my own "stuff" before returning, so all my tears just served to sap further the self-esteem, drive, and self-assurance I had been working so hard to restore.
I cry as needed now when I need to regulate, and it never hurts as much anymore. What makes a difference, though, is the environment in which I experience my emotions.
So, my return to work after the holidays didn't work out for many years, and I didn't work (my ownership here is also taken apart from my job's element within it all and my burnout).
For twenty years, circumstances, rather than my choice, seemed to be the driving force behind my life's meaning and purpose. I spent eleven years living with autoimmune dysfunction and having major surgeries, and a lot more physical, mental, and emotional things happened within all of it.
This morning, I am working.
It worked out, which means I am up and working out without any signs of anxiety or dread. There are a few aches and pains, for sure, that need addressing this year, namely a hip injury, but much fell into place, not overnight but over many years.
It is still a daily purpose of mine to try and choose myself since it serves my outlook.
Choose oneself.
While it may not always be feasible, prioritise your health whenever you can.
Choose grace for your nervous and neurological systems.
That doesn't necessarily mean we should get up and leave our jobs, buy a camper van, and head to the hill unless we want to.
It may just mean incremental daily, weekly, or monthly self-accommodations in our self-care; loving ourselves more, setting boundaries, taking ownership and responsibility for some of our life and work circumstances, and making ourselves more comfortable with accommodating are all things we deserve.
To a new day, not even a year, just day by day gracefully.
The Importance of Embracing Wonder in Our Life and Career Paths
We are told to grow up, get on with it and be practical in our endeavours. So go be the hardworking professional on a career ladder, letting our lights go out and losing our sense of curiosity only to find we have had our ladder inevitably up against the wrong wall all the time.
We don't have to throw our sense of wonder and curiosity out with our childhood toys. On the contrary, our innate ability to seek out wonder and the joy it brings can help us shape our futures and relieve lethargy and boredom that can add to our jaded adult selves and professionals in time.
It is a sense of wonder that instils creativity, and while there is a belief that we can become less creative as we age, this is an avoidable fate. Loss of creativity doesn't occur because we grow older; it happens because we grow out of our sense of wonder. We become jaded, weary and less motivated to enter into a process of curiosity and wondering where to go next in our lives and work and what it could give us back on a whole health level.
We block our perspective with a lack of imagination. Direction becomes harder to determine as we dim our natural creative self. Eventually, the lights can go out, leading many to career and life anxiety. We lose our "why". But before finding our "why", we must wonder about it. We lose our sense of awe and wonder, and we can lose valuable time stressing over career prospects, social status, measures of success on others' terms, and the banalities and drama here online. Reclaim our wonder, and we can find the inner strength, courage and creativity to make some changes and take the first step.
Wonder is beyond reason, and before it, it is an emotion we face with a mystery.
And sometimes, that first step is to embrace everything mysterious about your next move, the unknown knowns. Yes, it will be full of fear, but fear can instil forward thinking and the magic that is momentum. So while many are reading this, the "what is next for me?" thoughts amidst their internal chatter and chorus of jaded self-statements such as "is this all left for me now ?" Well, there is a mystery. What if we allow ourselves to embrace the mysterious to give us perspective and rationalise context?
Albert Einstein notes in The World as I see it that "the mysterious" is not only "the most beautiful experience we can have" but also the most basic emotion that is at the fore of true art and science. He states, "whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed."
And yet, as we make our way through school, college, and work, there can be so much of this mystery and wonder stripped back. So many lights go out in the process and dimming of our deliberate direction. We are told to grow up, get on with it and be practical in our endeavours. So go be the hardworking professional on a career ladder, letting our lights go out and losing our sense of curiosity only to find we have had our ladder inevitably up against the wrong wall all the time.
And then we realise our loss of curiosity and wonder can kill our sense of self and manifest in other whole health deterioration from an emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual context. We don't have to revert to our inner child by no means, as this reiterates the idea that we lose our sense of wonder as we age. We are adults. Yes, we have bills to pay, and we know the factual context of reality. However, we can still teach ourselves to access wonder and to look at our options with such curiosity. As we can train our emotions and most of our senses to serve us in many life stage phases, we can teach ourselves to wonder, access practical wisdom and realign our lives and work in time.
When was the last time you embraced wonder in your life and work?
Can you recall how it made you feel?
What did it give you, and why was this important for your whole health and sense of personal and professional self?
Wondering what it might be like to work with me, why not try a no-commitment one-off session soon?
Schedule here.
Image Credit: Chris Malinao Burgett Unsplash
What is your competitive career strategy?
In terms of organisational strategy, Michael Porter describes strategy as:
"Competitive strategy is about being different. It means deliberately choosing a different set of activities to deliver a unique mix of value."
So how do we do apply this approach to our career change or existing career paths?
We learn how to define, express and communicate our purpose to show where we can impact by creating our career mission, vision and value statements to honour our objectives and what we are trying to achieve.
Think of the brands you value. How do they define their purpose?
Your mission: What is it you want to do? If your role or industry didn't exist tomorrow, would it matter to the world? How will you show you can make a difference?
Your vision: What do you want to achieve in the future? What do you want your life and career to look like in 10 years or more? How does that sit with your personal and professional values?
Your values: What is important to you? What does it give you? Why does it matter? These are the underlying core principles that will build your career strategy.
Your objectives: What is your competitive advantage? What is the ROI to invest in you? What is the ROI for others to invest in you?
All of your strategy statements and objectives have to be realistic. You should have the capabilities to deliver them and measure them and your efforts to determine how successful you have been or will be.
What you want to do now to gain a competitive advantage is to leverage all these statements to gain a competitive advantage and position yourself to enter new positions or industries.
To begin working on your personal career strategy, you can book a one-off session initially to explore more here.
21 Career Momentum Posts and Quotes To Begin 2021 Strong
The courage to change career shows up when we choose to begin, do the work and realign.
The courage to change career shows up when we choose to begin, do the work and realign.
Start your 2021 more focused on your career aspirations and grounded in your values around your professional self. Here are some of my top-performing posts that connected on a human to human head and heart level to help people move forward in 2020.
Take what works, leave what doesn’t.
1. YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS BUT WHAT’S NOT NEGOTIABLE IS THAT YOU HAVE THE RIGHT QUESTIONS:
Being curious will allow us to discover what is possible for us to explore in our career. The value of asking ourselves the right questions is key to cultivating curiosity.
Here are some questions to help you discover your ability to cultivate curiosity.
1. Am I comfortable entering a conversation, not knowing how it will turn out?
2. Can I suspend judgement and scepticism?
3. Do I expect to be surprised when I speak with others?
4. Can I suspend my need to fix things?
5. Am I genuinely interested in what others have to say?
6. Am I prepared to admit I don’t understand something or someone?
7. Do I ask questions without having the right answer in mind?
8. Do I get energy from finding out what works for me and others?
9. Am I self-motivated to dig deeper when I want to learn more?
10. Do I enjoy learning things about people I didn’t know before?
11. Am I comfortable following someone else’s lead in a conversation?
12. Do I believe people are interesting and complex?
If you have answered no to 4 or more, perhaps you may need to cultivate more curiosity in your life and work.
“The power to question is the basis of all human progress.”
2. ARE YOU EXPERIENCING A CAREER CHANGING HANGOVER?
I spent many years experiencing sobering stagnancy in my career.
Here is what that can feel like:
You wake up every morning numb.
You are unfit to get behind the wheel of your car as you spent the previous night tossing and turning with career fear.
You are void of feeling.
You ache for impact.
The present paralyzes you.
Toxins from filling voids in your career with bad habits to bandaid your dissatisfaction begins to poison your perception.
The light doesn’t come on.
The darkness causes you to stumble.
You don’t know what direction to go in.
The brain fog fuels your frustration.
Your head hurts.
You feel lost.
You want to get a sober view of your life and career.
Like a hangover you want the self-inflicted suffering to end.
What would that look like for you?
What would you have to do?
“Pain is inevitable. It is actually a great opportunity for growth, but when we blame or fail to take responsibility for our suffering, the pain becomes stagnant, and stagnant pain can have a compounding effect if left unchecked.”
3. THERE ARE LOTS OF THINGS A JOB CAN’T GIVE YOU
1. Love
2. Loyalty
3. Integrity
4. Morals
5. Ethics
6. Creativity
7. Knowledge
8. Courage
9. Motivation
10. Discipline
11. Sense of humour
12. Uniqueness
13. Compassion
14. Inner peace
15. Self-esteem
Write down everything your role cannot take away from you as a whole person. What can you give yourself that your role or title cannot give you?
What do you need to feel whole again?
“A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world.”
4. IF YOU STOOD ON THE EDGE OF YOUR EMOTIONS, WHAT WOULD THEY TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR CAREER?
Do you look fine from the outside but are delicate on the inside?
Do you perform well to portray an image of success but inside feel like a failure?
Do you love your work or is your work killing your love of everything else, including yourself?
Is your organization’s culture cheerleading you to a breakdown or burnout?
Do you look happy or sad?
Tough questions = deep work.
Deep work = addressing pain.
Addressed pain = clarity.
“Emotions can get in the way or get you on the way.”
Mavis Mazhura
5. WHEN HAVE YOU ALLOWED THE OUTER CRITIC TO BECOME YOUR INNER CRITIC?
Without a doubt, this is one of the most significant blocks I witness in clients who want to pursue change.
Clients regularly make statements like this in my work:
“ I realised I had a perfectionist for a father. Nothing I could say or do was ever good enough.”
Much of it stems from childhood, and some people will carry it into the present day and allow it to continue to block their perspective. It can become ingrained in their psyche and be difficult to remove this barrier to purposeful progression in an individuals career.
But with the right questions and approach, many professionals can begin to do the work to eliminate any fear-based blocks that this outlook can cause by working on honouring the strength and light inside them and letting go of the darkness that distraction causes them.
Here are some of the coaching questions I use as a professional coach to reframe someone else's vision for you to your value-driven vision for you chosen by you:
Identify the triggers that lower your confidence and work on a reverse strategy.
1. What do I feel?
2. What do I say to myself?
3. How do I behave?
Change your outlook and enable more perspective and confidence by asking yourself:
1. How would I be without this thought?
2. What would it look like for me?
3. What would I think instead?
4. What would I do instead?
“Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality.”
6. COURAGEOUS CAREER CHANGES BEGIN BY GETTING TO KNOW YOURSELF BACKWARDS
Here is a hindsight self-coaching conversation to have with yourself that will bring foresight for 2021.
1.Who are you, and what got you to where you are now?
2. Create a list of all your roles, positions and jobs held.
3. Which brought you joy, energy and a sense of persistence?
4. Which brought you boredom, disengagement and a sense of feeling disconnected?
5. What thoughts or ideas have repeated over and over in your head about your past and present career?
6. How have your interests and skills evolved?
7. What might you want to seek out in the future?
8. What will you want to avoid in the future?
“Know thyself and all will be revealed.”
― Pamela Theresa Loertscher
7. TITLES BELONG ON BOOKS, NOT PEOPLE
I’ve learned a job title doesn’t mean nearly as much to me as the depth, impact and experience my work brings to me at a whole-person level now. My previous titles lacked richness and a holistic view of me as a human and professional.
I heard someone state titles belong on books, not people.
This perspective is quite liberating in many ways.
When chasing a title, are we limiting the depth of our experience and measure of success?
There’s never enough promotions to go around for everyone. Sometimes the competitive nature of the challenge to achieve it invites the chase but for the wrong reasons.
Reasons that are devoid of values bar corporate career ladders. Competition is healthy in context but not at the sacrifice of impact and fulfilment.
From my work, I can say that is what causes a lack of motivation and boredom in most mid to late-career professionals. It’s better to know what you want to do instead of what title you want to chase.
Focus on what you want to experience, know and need to find fulfilment and impact. Creating the space to discover this pays off in the long term. Titles sometimes service short term bandaids. One’s that can blindsight us from true measures of value-aligned success.
“People don’t follow titles, they follow courage.”
8. YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE OPPORTUNITY
I was recently thinking about my definition of opportunity. I also realize how much self-awareness is needed to identify in one’s head and heart if such “opportunity” benefits my life and career.
And if I don’t know how to recognize it for sure, it will pass me by. Shakespeares “know thyself” phrase is very apt here.
I sat with this further and realized that I recognize “opportunity” in my body. If it’s trying to tell me something, it’s usually not lying. If an opportunity shows up and I want to do some about it or allow it to help me transition into something else a feeling stays in my body. And it doesn’t go away until I do something about it.
I listen to my body. It doesn’t lie.
I jump into my gut instinct and try.
It doesn’t always work out, but if I keep an open mind, an outcome or result is usually closer than I think.
How do you recognize an opportunity?
“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes — then learn how to do it later.”
Richard Branson
9. WHAT DOES THE BIGGER PICTURE LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?
Here is a simple self-coaching conversation to have with yourself in your own time.
The most significant change I have made in my career to date is____
I predict that my next significant move will be____
I can imagine a time when____
It may not go to plan if____
I could change my direction with the obsolescence of____
I was most affected when____
It made a difference when____
To pursue my career goal, I am going to need to____
Now consider your responses.
What do they mean for what you are doing now?
What would like to be doing in your future career?
If You Want Something You Never Had, You Have To Do Something You’ve Never Done.
10. MY BIGGEST HEADACHE I HAD WHEN MAKING A CAREER CHANGE
Asking for too many opinions.
Some people you know have no idea how to achieve the vision you have for your future career or business.
I encourage people to be very selective about where they seek their perspective in a career change process.
Being selective, of course, doesn’t stop people from giving advice. A lack of knowledge seems to push people to provide you with advice even more. I have done this myself. The truth is that’s the ego, and most would choose to feel important than admit they don’t know the answer.
So what is my advice (oh, the irony)
Pick one of each you trust? Mentor/Coach/Colleague/Family member/Friend. It’s not that I know everything already I need all the wisdom and knowledge I can get I don't need knowledge obesity which can lead to decision making paralysis. Too much information leaves us unable to process anything, and instead, we become overwhelmed.
So I choose my sources with caution and keep my personal and professional circles small. It made my career change eventually a lot easier and decision making entirely aligned with who I am and my vision for my business.
“The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion.”- Arnold H. Glasow
11. THE PANDEMIC IS A REMINDER, WE ALWAYS NEED TO BE READY TO CHANGE CAREER
Most change comes from pain. When you’re not feeling pain, it’s hard to take action. And then you’re not ready for the worst thing that can happen. You can’t predict a global pandemic that can lead to excessive redundancies or a career crisis.
But you can predict how you will react if something happens. Many jobs now are one zoom or phone call away from becoming obsolete. I suggest you begin working on a career disaster recovery plan or plan B right away even if you think your job is stable at present.
When you’re ready with a career crisis plan, you’re least likely to need one. When you feel willing, ready and able to take on the unexpected, you will feel in control. You’ve gained the power to progress with perspective. You will walk and talk differently. You won’t lose as much sleep over rumours about takeovers, new managers or world events.
“I’m standing in my power. I’m in control” will be your new mantra.
“In general, things either work out or they don’t, and if they don’t, you figure out something else, a plan B. There’s nothing wrong with plan B.”
― Dick Van Dyke
12. IT’S STRANGE WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO REFLECT UPON A DECISION YOU MADE WHICH ALTERED THE COURSE OF YOUR LIFE AND CAREER
Transparency implies openness, communication, and accountability. I made a transparent career transition from broker to business owner via redundancy. The urge to return to my former profession was strong at the time, but I made a decision.
A decision that altered my life and career forever.
I burned that bridge and was open and honest with myself about what I wanted and needed in my career. I communicated my needs to myself and others in a way that helped me progress. I found people to hold me accountable. I then had to keep building and burning bridges and crossing them to get here now. There is very little I would change. I’m now so far over the bridge that builds the resilience to keep going in business; it would seem much longer to turn back than to keep going.
So keep building and burning bridges, keep going and keep growing.
Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge.
13. IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU WHAT YOU DO, TELL THEM YOU’RE “IT. “
“It” being whatever that is you are working on to create and become in time. A coach, writer, artist, designer, dog walker, whatever “it” is for you. I am a coach and a writer. I am becoming an artist and art therapist who will incorporate psychology into my career coaching practice. My “it” will not be career coaching as anyone knows it.
“It” will be non-traditional, extremely challenging creative and create change. I’m not worried about my level of success of my “it”. Nor should you. If you’re doing “it” regularly and working towards doing what you need to make “it” happen, you’re “it”.
You can’t become “it” overnight and you shouldn’t, but you can feel “it”. Creating and crafting the skills and stories is all the success you get at first, so you might as well own “it.” Don’t worry about anyone else’s opinions. The truth is nobody will care about yours or what you are doing unless it aligns with their own. You’re “it” Enjoy and embrace the energy “it” gives you.
“To bring anything into your life, imagine that it’s already there.” Richard Bach
14. OUR LIVES AND CAREERS ARE A SERIES OF TRANSITIONAL SHIFTS
A transition no matter of what kind in our lives and work will begin with intention. Intention informs inspiration. A realigned successful transitional shift comes down to one fundamental thing a choice.
Choice in the present moment to create opportunity in the future focus.
Here are some questions to ask yourself about your intentions to create transitions in your life and career in your own time.
What is your intention?
What do you want to do with this information?
How does that inspire you?
Do you have a sincere interest in your intention and how it transitions into your realigned measure of success?
Once you choose to take ownership of your intention, you can create reinvention.
Light precedes every transition. Whether at the end of a tunnel, through a crack in the door or the flash of an idea, it is always there, heralding a new beginning.
Teresa Tsalaky
15. DO YOU FIND IT CHALLENGING TO FIND THE WORDS TO DESCRIBE THE EMOTIONS ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR CAREER?
In the early days of my career change when I couldn’t find the words to describe my emotions about my former career and redundancy, I’d run emotional experiments.
Emotional wheels helped me to begin when I could not find the words. You can download one here via The Gottman Institute.
Some of the questions I’d then ask myself to surface my emotions were as follows:
Where am I right now in my life and work?
What do I feel?
What hurts the most?
Why?
How can I slow down to see what is missing?
Can I do it?
Will I do it?
What do I need to do it?
How will I do it differently in align with my whole self?
I was looking for data to measure whether I would enjoy the process of doing new these things to facilitate my career transition. Think of it this way. You are looking for some signal, some more information to keep you feeling your way to the answer. You are spinning the emotional wheel, so the wheels keep turning in your favour.
“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
― Oscar Wilde
16. LIFE CAN BE BRUTAL AT TIMES
It takes things away at random. Then it makes you fight to get them back so that you remember and reaffirm the value of each one. I remind myself that losing my job in 2015, even though it sucked was the ultimate version of my career reinvention.
As I grow older, my transitions from one stage of my life to the next have become less hurried. Rather than full-on restarts, change now looks like layers. Layers that I add on in a slow and controlled manner and then peel away. This reality grounds me in the fact that anything worth having takes time but is possible.
It is also a reminder of what’s fragile and what’s robust. We, as humans are resilient if we reinforce our belief in ourselves. Each new week and month, I start repeatedly, and I peel away more layers to reveal something new and shed what no longer serves me anymore.
What layers do you need to add or shed to reveal a reinvention for you?
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. — Lao Tzu
17. WHAT WOULD YOU ROLE HAVE TO HAVE FOR YOU TO FIND IT FULFILLING?
Many people find it hard to create a clear vision of what a fulfilling career would be for them because they haven’t yet clarified their non-negotiable values.
Once you get clear about your values, you’ll know what a role will need to have for you to thrive and enjoy it. Your non-negotiable values help you identify your work boundaries and what you will and will not tolerate at work.
A role that is out of alignment with your values will never be fulfilling. There will always be a disconnect, and that disconnect can cause deeper voids in your whole self.
The disconnect is quite simply because your career is void of values.
And if you don’t fill them with what matters most, you could lose a piece of yourself as I did in my former career.
The good news is you have a choice as I did to jump into those voids and find out what is important to you and why that matters because of what it gives you.
What is most important to you?
“Core values serve as a lighthouse when the fog of life seems to leave you wandering in circles; when you encounter that moment where every decision is a tough one and no choice seems to clearly be the better choice.”
― J Loren Norris
18. INTERNAL BARRIERS TO CAREER SUCCESS
1. A when/ then outlook
When x happens then, I will be happy. I call that wishful thinking.
2. Self-doubt
What if I can’t do this and am not good enough?
3. Self-consciousness
What will others think of me?
4. Comparison
They have it better than me.
5. Scarcity
I have limited resources.
6. Overwhelm
It will be too much pressure and responsibility.
7. Guilt
I should have been better at x or done y.
You will often hear people speak about golden handcuffs. There is no such thing as golden handcuffs.
It is a figment of our imagination we create to validate our excuses to remain stuck. I turned everything into a handcuff to remain chained to a desk rusting away.
My employer did not keep me there.
I chose to stay there.
If we want to leave but have some of the internal barriers above, we will turn everything into a golden handcuff scenario to validate our decision to stay.
I used my health, age, kid, parents, all as golden handcuffs alongside the stability and security of a career I fell into by circumstance, not a choice.
My ingrained behaviours were the cause of me making them the reasons for my decision not to leave. I let my ignorance overrule my intuition.
I made myself a prisoner by choice.
They always say, we’ll just do another year. It’s called the golden handcuffs.
19. BRACE YOURSELF FOR CAREER CHAOS
In between personal and professional goals, there is a thing that you have to enjoy called life.
If you cannot find some satisfaction level between your life and career, you can be miserable, and regression and conflict will show up.
A healthy personal and professional life involves joy.
Build a lifestyle that includes a value-driven vision embracing why that balance is essential.
Not a goal or metric that means nothing but misery.
If there is no joy in some days, are you living the life you envision?
Are you inspired?
If you are not inspired, and killing yourself in the process to prove something to anyone other than yourself, you are missing out on what joy it is all about.
We are preparing to brace ourselves for the influx of new year, new you, new career, goal setting posts and book recommendations over the coming few weeks.
Sometimes it does nothing but antagonise people and initiates stealing their joy out of a fear of failure or inadequacy.
So brace yourself for life and career chaos.
It happens.
But acknowledge that change can and will happen for you when you are ready.
And not because society or anyone else tells you that you have to start goal setting now or on January 1st 2021.
Do it when you are ready.
When you feel joy, do so, you will know.
“If you walk in joy, happiness is close behind.”
― Todd Stocker
20. PEOPLE WHO ARE GOOD AT INTERVIEWS OR MAKING TRANSITIONS ARE USUALLY GOOD AT LIFE
That is where we have to start.
Working on what having a good life means for us.
What does it give us, and why is it important?
Being good to ourselves is value-driven behaviour.
It starts with understanding why we deserve to live a good life and not deny it out of shame or excessive humility.
Then we can begin to understand how to bring the good forward in us in an interview setting.
How can you get to at a point in your life where you know what you are good at, and can communicate it to a total stranger in a way that makes you seem like the sort of person you would want around.
Get good at being good to yourself in your life and work without feeling guilt or shame.
Respect your whole self.
Respect your right to feel good.
The good life consists in deriving happiness by using your signature strengths every day in the main realms of living. The meaningful life adds one more component: using these same strengths to forward knowledge, power or goodness.
21. THE COURAGE TO BE HAPPY
I persistently decided not to change anything in my former career for years.
I justified that it was the “practical” option and therefore, much more comfortable to leave things as they were. I told myself I knew no better; therefore, I could be no better or do no better.
The thing is like all my clients; I didn’t lack competence I just lacked courage.
The courage to be happy.
The word “happy” derives from the verb to happen.
In other words, we can’t control everything that happens in our lives.
But happiness itself is to be found simply from observing what happens.
So if we don’t dare to be happy, we will never know what can happen.
If one cannot be happy at the prospect of stepping outside of their usual “practical” self to make a significant change for their better self, they are not likely to find happiness anywhere. If you are brave enough to explore this, what happens is happiness or learning.
Do you have the courage to be happy and see what happens?
How did I start?
I stopped looking for excuses not to change and started looking for opportunities to grow.
Because when we grow, we open ourselves up to a whole new level of wholeness and discovery.
One that enables us to explore if we should pursue something different or not.
Many of our fears are tissue paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us through them. Brendan Francis
May this article bring you the second chance to realign and define who you are and what you want in your life and career when you are ready be that 2021 or 2025.
See my website or LinkedIn for more.
You Don't Have to Get It Right, Just Get It Going
Career changes are complicated by nature but not impossible occurrences for most of us. There are many skilled, capable and resourceful people who feel overwhelmed by the process.
Our brains will consider the idea of making a career change at any time our career path conflicts with our values.
We may find our work boring and feel unfulfilled in our current work. We want to make a better impact and feel like we are part of something.
We may wish to have more or need less financial stability and need more time to take care of ourselves and our families. The current pandemic will have allowed many people to reassess values such as family and finances more effectively.
Once conflict shows up, our thoughts will move towards solving the problem. In our attempts to figure out what to do next, like me in the past, we may look at the following options:
1. Take assessments or personality tests (not always the solution but can be helpful in some contexts!)
2. Look at job boards daily
3. Talk the situation over with family and friends
4. Consider what the ideal situation would look like?
5. Assess the financial realities of making a change.
By the time your brain has had a chance to review it all, you get stuck. You still don't know what you want to do so you're still unhappy. You are now in the depths of frustration about not making purpose-driven progress.
Does this resonate?
Career changes are complicated by nature but not impossible occurrences for most of us. There are many skilled, capable and resourceful people who feel overwhelmed by the process. I know how frustrating it is to feel stuck.
Here are two simple questions I ask myself when I spiral into complicating things, and I need to find a starting point.
What could you do today to help you get moving?
What would it take for you to feel motivated and do meaningful work?
Without Acceptance One Can't Define Success
Career and self-employment/entrepreneurial success definitions can be a sneaky bugger. For sure, our values change as we age, and our circumstances change. Many people will define success as a lifestyle business earning €10,000 a year for others, and it will be a hardcore hustle making €100,000 a year.
If I asked you what acceptance meant for you in your definition of success, would you be able To clarify it for me?
For many, their criteria for success can begin to distort, and they find themselves influenced by societal, parental, digital trends and ingrained behaviours.
Many of which instilled by someone or something that has no real purpose in the power of value-driven momentum.
Career and self-employment/entrepreneurial success definitions can be a sneaky bugger. For sure, our values change as we age, and our circumstances alter.
Many people will define success as a lifestyle business earning €10,000 a year and for others, it will be a hardcore hustle making €100,000 a year.
There are no rights or wrongs as long as one knows and understands the risk involved and the leveraging of skills, time and energy that is needed to achieve such a vision.
For some, the price of success and security is insecurity. For others, the challenge and chaos of insecurity with uncertainty come in the form of past success and security.
One thing I have felt deeply in my career transition was the power of influence.
In particular, on a negative and positive basis, but also how other professionals measures of success projecting had a significant effect on derailing me from acceptance of my success.
Here is one such story...
I had a mentorship call a few years ago with a "business coach" provided to me on a course.
At this point, I reckon I was on my tenth business plan, which had drastically changed from a financial perspective after my first and subsequent visits to my accountant.
When you lose your job, retrain and start a business, your brain can play tricks on you around measures of success based on a former career.
Anyway, I decided on a more realistic financial goal for me and my company based on my situation and lifestyle—a very frugal and minimalist one.
And one that I still have not made but hey I'm okay with that. I remember the "business coach" decided my financial goal was nonsense and I couldn't live on less than €80,000 a year as I lived in Dublin.
To clarify, I've lived in Dublin all my life and have a decent level of fulfillment and satisfaction based on my needs and wants.
Their exact words...
"You need to be making €80,000 a year out of that business for yourself by year three."
€80,000 was the figure I showed up to my accountant with during my first year in business. I learned it wasn't realistic with my research and her help and advice.
By the way, I'm not saying you can't make that in the long run in my industry but initially managing expectations is critical for clarity.
At the time I was like oh okay I gather said "business coach" wants me to be a huge success financially and kudos to her for challenging me.
I realize now she hadn't a clue about me, my business, what I wanted and why I wanted it. She was projecting her measure of success onto me.
And I let her by choice.
I then spent weeks mulling over my revised business plan and messed it up again. I am grateful I had another mentor catch my conflicted and disillusioned state before I became too distanced from the direction I am going in now. It is my path.
I remember he simply asked me if I was happy with my figure based on my lifestyle and needs?
I said, yes. There is a reason I always state I have a lifestyle business I choose it.
He also made me consider the burn rate on working at the level needed to take in €80,000 to €100,000 a year coaching, and if I wanted that?
He opened up all perspectives and made me feel comfortable and confident in mine.
He'd been there he knew. He could relate he was a great mentor.
My point is if you are not grounded in this stuff, it's easy to be pulled in many directions and get derailed from the details of your value-driven path.
I never challenge my clients about money goals. If they want to make €500,000 a year or €10,000 a year as long as it's risk assessed and aligning with their measure of success, I don't care.
I trust they know, and if not, I can help them if needed with appropriate coaching and perspective.
I had someone come to me some months ago in the coaching industry when this shit show kicked off seeking advice. I trust them, and they trust me but me being an open book about my life and work sometimes can be to my detriment.
I subsequently had this thrown back at me.
“When you are making €100,000 a year I'll take your advice."
Again they were projecting their measure of success onto me. I'm not going to lie it pissed me off.
We fell out and then realigned as I understood from an empathetic level why it happened.
And it did begin to cause me to question myself again, but then I stood grounded for me, for what I stand for and my definition of success.
Do you see now why it is so important?
You can't allow yourself to go into energy deficits in business from comparing success with others or let their or societies projections to distract you.
It's a major headache you don't need. And as for money coaches, business coaches and mentors.
Choose wisely.
Remember, when we aspire to be something we are not, we can resign ourselves to suffer the pains of inadequacy.
Success begins for many with acceptance and forgiveness of inadequacy and realizing what is within their control to move forward.
That is when we can proceed with an intuitive inquiry which leads us to find the inspiration to define our measure of success.
So what does success look like for me? I am reflecting on it this Bank Holiday Monday in Dublin amidst all the challenges and chaos this pandemic has thrown about.
It's having a lie-in with the dog. That feeling when both our bladders are about to burst, but we don't want to move!
It's having a spa day in my own home a proper form stay-cation in this new world.
It's showing up without having to show up.
It’s not having to make €80,000 per annum.
It’s writing blogs on Bank Holiday Mondays about my measure of success.
It is acceptance on my terms.
Here are some simple but powerfully reflective questions for you this new week and month to help you accept and process success on your terms.
What do you want to experience?
What would that feel like?
How do you want to contribute?
What impact do you want to have?
How much are you earning?
How much do you want to make?
How do you want to live?
Where do you want to live?
How do you prioritize your health and wellness?
Who are you surrounded by in your life and work?
How does that affect you?
How do you want to feel?
What are your metrics for measuring personal and professional success?
What would be happening in a year if you achieve that success?
What themes run across your kindle, blog and podcast choices?
What does that say about you?
For more on career coaching see my LinkedIn for weekly tips and advice or book a one-off consultation here.
How To Overcome Age Bias In Your New Reality Job Search
Age bias in hiring is unfortunate and wrong, but the harsh reality is that it exists. The first step is to understand why age discrimination occurs in some organisations. If you know and understand the reasons for it, you can navigate it from all perspectives to your benefit.
The future of work is still about humans and connection.
It is about people of all ages, experience and levels. Many employers are starting to look beyond aiding a workforce to work remote. They are working towards building a more skilled, agile and resilient future. Many employers will have several generations working for them.
Leveraging combined skill sets, strengths, experience, and knowledge in this context will be critical. It is a core foundation for adapting and remaining resilient for the future.
Employers are open to having new conversations about different ways of working. I reckon the resilience shown by more senior employees in the COVID crisis will be up for discussion.
Our older workforce can leverage the opportunity to help organisations rewire their DNA.
Direction
Networks
Adaptability
This can only affect their impact and cultures on a favourable basis. Many older employees have a deep emotional connection to their actions and purpose they apply in their career.
They are loyal, resilient and empathetic to younger generations career challenges. They understand the conflict and chaos many are going through now in this pandemic.
They know how to listen. Listening to your people and understanding and responding to their needs is vital. I am forty-four years young, and I have recently had an influx from many younger generations asking me to mentor them in their careers.
I facilitate outplacement work with many generational profiles. The varied perspective I gain as a result of such a broad, diverse and multi-generational outlook has been momentous for my life and work. I am very grateful for this learning to leverage my skills as a career coach.
So how can older employees and job searchers show we deserve our seat at the table?
How can we prove we deserve a second chance if we want to change career or face redundancy now?
How do we show our adaptability and resilience to enable a whole new level of work and opportunity for ourselves and potential employers?
1. Understand the Realities Behind Age Bias:
Age bias in hiring is unfortunate and wrong, but the harsh reality is that it exists. The first step is to understand why age discrimination occurs in some organisations. If you know and understand the reasons for it, you can navigate it from all perspectives to your benefit.
During your search, relevant and factual information is vital. It is advisable to investigate why some organisations may choose a younger worker.
Many times it is not age that an employer has a concern about, but other issues that you need to address.
Cost:
Mature professionals have often built up a higher salary level compared to younger professionals.
Companies are often decreasing management roles, and lowering salary budgets, creating much more competition for fewer senior-level jobs.
To address this, you'll need to research your market to understand the demand for your skills and the current salary ranges for your role.
Flexibility:
Many companies expect employees to work harder and longer, travel, be open to relocation, adapt to significant change and learn new technology fast.
They may assume that these challenges may not inspire someone with a strong and stable background. If this does inspire you, then make sure you consistently state this and highlight related accomplishments on your resume/CV.
Dated Skills:
Today's organisations move and change faster than ever - how will you keep pace with them? Studying new market trends and terminology, attending webinars, and updating your resume/CV with new skills and education can make a significant impact.
2. Create an Ageless Personal Brand of Your Personal Best
When creating a resume/CV and social media profiles, leave your age out of the equation.
Let Go of the Antiquated Resume/CV Formats:
Your Resume/CV is marketing collateral. You do not a complete biography. Focus on the last 10 to 15 years of your experience, and of relevance to the roles. Also, remove dates on education from more than ten years ago.
Reinvigorate Your Professional Look:
Consider updating the way you represent yourself. I'm not suggesting you try to be something you are not. But instead, realign with something that you are and want to be on a personal and professional level. It radiates quiet natural confidence.
Consider updating your headshot and, have fun with a makeover. A change is good as a rest when reinventing yourself.
Elevate Your Energy:
Companies want confident, passionate, purposeful, hungry, enthusiastic, and value-driven professionals—ones who are eager and inspired to innovate improvements and tackle challenges head-on.
Keep yourself healthy by eating well, exercising, and taking care of your mental health throughout your job search. Pay attention to what lifts and lowers your mood and energy.
How are you performing on a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level daily?
How are your creativity, emotional resilience and general outlook on things?
What are habits killing or suppressing all the above?
How do they cause you to regress?
Another glass of wine might sound like a good idea. Maybe it is when the occasion and timing are right to sit back and chill.
But if it moves to a third or fourth regularly in the middle of a job search, it can become a big deal. When you are dealing with complex decision making about where to next, it can leave you discombobulated and agitated.
Cultivate forward focus and energy by shifting habits to your benefit. Be conscious and consistent with your well-being choices. If you feel yourself begin to drain and pull away from your direction, return to the primary health fundamentals of sleep, exercise and nutrition. It will enable you to return to a clean system from which to operate.
3. Research & Tailor Your Search
No matter what your age, it's important to fine-tune and align your search for the greatest success.
Focus on Relevant Jobs:
If a job requires 5+ years of experience and you have 25+, it is more than likely they will specify you as overqualified.
Networking on a conscious level and with relevance to opportunities you seek as well as applying to positions that match your experience on a realistic level is so important. If you are open to taking a less senior role, make sure you are clear about this. You will need to be able to explain the reasons behind it upfront.
Explore the Culture Fit:
When choosing your targets, look for companies that hire and value mature and experienced workers. You can review the demographics of a company's staff by reviewing employee professional social media profiles (e.g. LinkedIn). Study the backgrounds, demographics, and qualifications for those in your desired role.
Leverage Your Network:
A considerable advantage you may have over younger workers is a highly developed network. Remember if you are an experienced professional you are likely to have these benefits younger reinventers may not have. Take stock of all the advantages you have.
If you decide to transition into another industry, don't forget your friends and family. They may well have connections in other sectors they can introduce to you.
Ask questions to find out who they might be willing to introduce to you.
Next Steps
Research your current market: demand, salary ranges, jobs, and target companies in detail.
Update your skills and the terminology in your resume/CV to meet current market needs.
Re-brand your marketing campaign: resume/CV, professional social media profiles, and online/offline image.
Focus your job search on the right companies and individuals.
For more tips and advice see my LinkedIn or book a one-off discounted session here
6 Conscious Practical Steps to Take After You Are Laid Off
Nobody ever said to me when I lost my job was that it was shit. Now, I'm not one to run away from emotions so I wanted to say today yeah, it is shit and I can relate and be empathetic.
One of the things that dawned on me as I began writing this piece was that nobody said to me when I lost my job that it was shit.
Now, I'm not one to run away from emotions so I wanted to say today yeah, it is shit and I can relate and be empathetic.
Here is some practical advice with layers of empathetic energy from my head and heart.
I hope it helps.
1. Allow yourself to process the grief then breathe.
It's shit, I get it and I have been there. Be comfortable sitting with the ego-bruising it brings but also be self-compassionate.
Go easy on yourself as you begin to find your future focus. Without healing, there can be no harmony with your future professional self.
2. Create the space to curate a list of your strengths and weaknesses.
I guarantee there will be more strength.
3. Tell people you lost your job and are looking for a new one.
Once you have healed open up and allow opportunities to show up. That is not to say you won't have to do the work, you do but if you don't put it out there it can never come back to you.
You don't have to feel shame. I guarantee you so many will relate and help you to create new focus and direction.
4. Consciously curate your entire network
Not only on LinkedIn but everyone who you have had a good experience with and learned from in your whole career. When you have the confidence and courage to reach out take a chance and do so.
When you reach out, people want to help especially in times like we are experiencing today.
5. "SEO" your LinkedIn
Use words that will help your profile be stand out recruiters. Put industry-relevant keywords in your Headline, About and Experience section. Find the right keywords by examining job descriptions, look at other people's LinkedIn profiles, and use a Google keyword tool.
And finally...
6. Embrace it
I know it may seem overwhelming but there is great excitement reinventing yourself. You can read my blog on my own reinvention here. Many people find they have been living a professional void for a long time. They have filled it with habits that have not served their benefit.
Now is a great time to fill that void with things you value and realign with resilience and direction.
I would like to take this opportunity to wish you the best of success with your search and future career.
Feel free to check out my blog in more detail or my LinkedIn for daily tips and advice.
How Do I Deal With Questions of Identity When Losing My Job?
5 ways to overcome a crisis of identity when facing a forced career change.
5 ways to overcome a crisis of identity when facing a forced career change.
Our work doesn’t just feel like something we do; it feels like something we are. This can be healthy or unhealthy depending on your relationship with your career.
But when you reach a pivot point and a change is needed either voluntarily or with the loss of a role, it signals a change in you. And when that change is uncomfortable, you feel uncomfortable. Yes, you may even feel in crisis.
When you lose your job or want to leave an old career for a new one, the question is not only:
“How will I do something new?”
You also struggle with..
“How will I be someone new?”
“Who am I if I don’t do my old work?”
“What does it say about me if I walk away?”
“Who am I to try something new?”
“What does it say about me if I try and I fail?”
These are all questions of identity.
It is important to know that redundancies, career transitions and pivots are normal and to be expected. Careers today are fluid, so the best thing to do is to know how to go with the flow when you feel in crisis or overwhelm.
Here are some tips below to help overcome an identity crisis when facing a job loss or having to make a career pivot.
1 | Plan something to look forward to.
It’s tempting to retreat when you feel like confused and overwhelmed. But it’s important that you have somewhere to be and people to interact with.
Especially if you’re in a situation where you suddenly have lots of free time. I know this from experience following my redundancy and even being a business owner now. It sure can get lonely. Schedule some social events into your calendar.
There is no need for anything big, stick to the small, low-key event if that feels better. No better time than the present to do this online now in the current global pandemic and if you have some spare time available.
2 | Give yourself permission to be transitioning or between jobs without fear of shame.
You won’t be here forever, so for a while, it’s okay to be uncertain. It is okay to not know everything. You get to be a full-blown mess if you need to. You will sort things out and recover. Forget what anyone else thinks. It is your decision and choice to find the right path for you.
3 | Think about who you are.
Write it down. This can be list form, stories, notes about your past, or what you’re doing now. Reconnect to who you are. You ARE more than your career. Remember who you are, just you, without work to define you.
4 | Do things that make you feel like somebody.
What makes you feel like you have an impact?
When you’re in a career identity crisis, it’s easy to feel sorry for yourself. I have been there and done that. I still do on occasions when I wonder if I can crack this business owner thing! It is okay, you’re human. But to counteract that, you need to do things that make you feel capable, confident and courageous.
It might be creating art, helping a friend, redecorating your home, or spending time with a parent. My dad is a wealth of wisdom and gives me plenty of insights to remind me I can do this!
5 | Directly address your career fears.
When something is off in our careers, we feel that we have no control over it. So, instead of addressing our careers head on, we distract ourselves with other areas of our life. We dive into other projects that may improve the quality of our life on a temporary basis.
But they don’t solve the core problem: your career. Take direct action to resolve the conflict in your career, and you’ll feel powerful, proud, and more like you.
Have you been through a career identity crisis?
What steps did you take to overcome it?
Originally published on LinkedIn
— Republished on May 5, 2020, via Thrive Global
Do You Know Why Your Work and Your Story is Important?
I've been in my career transition now since my redundancy in 2015. I'm at a stage in my life and career where what I do matters so much it is a part of me. It is value-driven so it is intentional. My souls purpose as such.
I've been in my career transition now since my redundancy in 2015. I'm at a stage in my life and career where what I do matters so much it is a part of me. It is value-driven so it is intentional. My souls purpose as such.
I'm damned if I'm going to give it up without a fight. I made it past my third year in business. That is an achievement in its own right! But I'm still not taking a salary for myself.
I never bullshit people in this regard. I have had to make major adjustments to my life and spending to pull off this career transition. For many clients I work with who are planning full 360's we work on exit strategies that are years out. Being a former broker I advocate people ensure money is not going to be a crutch in a career change. Risk assessment is my thing.
But I am blessed that I have made enough in the past year to reinvest in myself as a professional and my business. Up until now, I have been backing myself. And there will be times again in this process that I will have to do that again.
But that is a risk I am prepared to take because I know why my work and my story is important. Deep down I know how difficult it would be for me to return to do work for the sake of a paycheck. I need it to mean something and so my transition continues.
Soul not for sale so the show must go on.
I believe in my work. I believe in myself. I know that it will work out. Before I wandered through my past life without any narrative. I believed in nothing. When we don't take the time to know our story and the value it brings to our soul's purposes we wander.
We can get bored.
We can get lost.
With no direction, the internal conflict ends up being the compass. We keep ending up somewhere we are not meant to be. There is nothing worse than staying somewhere we don't belong. Somewhere that doesn't nourish our personal or professional growth.
It's soul-destroying. If you choose growth and have no fear courage becomes the compass.
Who knows what is coming next?
What do you believe about your work?
Why is it important?
Remember the day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit. Keep showing up even on the days you don't feel like it and plant some small seeds this week. Trust me it is worth going that extra mile. It is never crowded there.
Whether you know what you want to do next or you are still evaluating your options I can help you:
Imagine your other professional self
Identify the skill sets you need to progress in your career or transition to another industry
Assess the financial implications of the change you are considering
Assess new roles and learning without endangering your current role
Explain a long career narrative with confidence
Pitch yourself into a new role
If you feel like you need more guidance you can book a discounted one-off perspective session here