How To Help Yourself Gain Traction To Do Your Most Impactful Work

How can you help yourself gain traction on doing your most important work?

Making a life-changing decision to leave a job behind and build a career involves leading yourself with emotional courage. Here are four elements of leading yourself with emotional courage adapted from one of my WBECS Coaching Mentors Peter Bregman:

1. CONFIDENCE IN SELF

Helps you to be secure enough in not knowing. It takes a belief in yourself that it won’t destroy you if everyone points at you and says you are crazy. You’re connected with yourself, and stay grounded in the face of failure or uncertainty or success. You don’t get thrown around by the winds of life. You’re ok with knowing things and can accept feedback without getting defensive.

2. CONNECTION TO OTHERS

If you have confidence but aren’t connected to others, you’re going to lose people. You will appear arrogant, even if you’re not. If you’re super connected to others but not confident in yourself, you’ll give yourself away to please the people around you.

3. COMMITMENT TO PURPOSE

Less about brilliant ambitious vision but more about focus. Do we focus on what’s most important to us? It’s about clarity and focus on your most important work. Do you spend your energy on what makes the biggest difference?

4. EMOTIONAL COURAGE

Works symbiotically with the previous three. COMMITMENT TO PURPOSE and EMOTIONAL COURAGE are the two key elements that will have the greatest benefit of increasing your chances of making a career change in the future.

What’s stopping you? EMOTIONAL COURAGE - THE WILLINGNESS TO FEEL If you are willing to feel everything, you can do anything and move through any challenge.

Emotional courage is at the root of all forward momentum.

If you need further guidance you can book an online discounted once-off perspective session here

How Troubling The Story I Told Myself Was About My Life and Career

One of the most powerful shifts in my life was when someone said this to me:

“Pauline, things don’t have to be this way at all.”

I have been recently reflecting on how troubling the stories I told myself about myself were in my past. They still show up and can cause me to get in my way. I made myself a version of someone else's story due to the lies I was telling myself. I spent years being emotionally ripped off by my own choice. I was trying to catch dreams and shape my reality with wishful thinking and band-aids. Sometimes I caught dreams at the bottom of a bottle, in piles of junk food, pain medications and in the drags of every cigarette I inhaled.

I think we are all addicted to something. The trick is to ensure your addiction benefits your personal and professional growth. I was doing damage with my indifference. There was a disconnect between who I was and wanting to become. A false reality as such that I was shaping for myself in my life and career. 

It was fiction built on fear. As a result, distraction was inevitable. Distraction is something people feel compelled to seek while waiting for the inevitable. I cannot say that is cowardly or wrong as I did it in the past. I was creating a very troubling story and legacy through distraction. I am grateful to have now found practices that nourish me. I have respect for their value. They are fuel for my flame. They keep me lit.

Cue powerful prompt for consideration...

What am I distracting myself with to avoid addressing conflict in my life or career? 

Letting go of my fear and the fictional stories I was telling myself was hard. I had attached fear and self-doubt to every available neural pathway in my brain. I had years of practice, so it was a perfect breeding ground for anxiety and pessimism.

I had many self-limiting beliefs about my life and career goals.

“I can’t lose weight it is in my genes”

“I can’t swim, I won’t float I’m going to sink”

“I can’t lift weights my fused spine will break”

“I can’t get better ”

“I can’t talk, I have no voice so I’ll stay silent”

“I can’t be happy because I don’t deserve it”

“I can’t tell my story, no one will want to hear it”

"I'll never do anything or be anyone again."

What were my options?

How could I be brave and rewrite a new narrative if I could not acknowledge my fear? Without fear, there is no courage.

In July 2014 I got into a swimming pool, I couldn’t swim. It wasn’t the fear of the water itself but the fear of not being able to breathe. But I hadn’t been breathing for years. I was suffocating, drowning in a pool of self-pity and sorrow. Within ten minutes my swimming coach had me breathing under the water. I knew when I came up for my next breath of air it was going to be okay.

From that moment on I decided to create a new story. 

Fear is only a weakness if it stops you from being curious.

Do you feel despair because it feels like a significant change in your life or career will never happen? The first step is to stop distracting yourself with bullshit stories and coping strategies that serve you no purpose. Get inspired and find something that will motivate you to work through it. That way you will keep treading water until you get out of a lull. You can get out of your head and into a new life and career. Change is within your reach.

Here are some head and heart tips to start the new week. It could be the start of something small that leads to something big in time.

Pay attention to your whispers so you won't have to hear the screams.

The above is a famous saying by the Cherokee. What is your inner voice and restlessness telling you about the direction you need to go in?

Test your future

What is possible? How can you explore your interests and develop new capabilities? For some, it could be deciding to shed a few pounds and get healthier as in my case. This step alone can lead you to discover your inner strength.

You will feel empowered because you have broken through your limitations. This can lead to more radical reinventions. For me, it saved my life. I knew I was not happy and things had to change. I'd had enough. That clarity and resolve set me up to take bigger steps.

Practice Opportunism

Creating a new story full of potential is a lot easier if you are open and willing to make the most of opportunities that come your way. To commit to change you have to learn to prime and pitch yourself into any new opportunity you may have overlooked in the past. What have you got to lose?

Opportunity dances with those already on the dance floor. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Manage your present, shed your past

You will notice how leaders continue to manage the present while building towards big changes in the future. Self-leadership is the same. What is no longer serving your purpose?

Nourish your growth

How can you find a way to dig into your courageous self to be who you are. Whatever that means for you be it exploring your emotions or your personal and professional identity. Then find one version of you that represents your value-driven purpose and stay connected to it.

Build resilience

You are now facing your fear so resistance will show up. If you are connected to your value-driven purpose above it will cultivate a deeply profound sense of intentional and consciously driven ambition to succeed. You name your fears but you don't let them shut you down.

Embrace the cycle of renewal

It never ends. I have no desire to make millions so my career transition has always been about growth. Consider where you are at in your own life and career at present. Where are you in the cycle of renewal? Are you intentionally shedding the past, consciously preserving the present and bravely creating the future? 

Prompts above inspired by HBR's Guide to Changing Your Career available here.

For more on coaching and consulting see here. 

Stay curious!

“Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.”

James Stephens

If you feel like you need more guidance, you can arrange a one-off perspective session at a discounted cost via my booking calendar here

Why Time Will Never Rule My World, Life or Work Again

Time is the most commonly used noun in English.

What time is it?

What time will you be back at?

What time are you leaving?

What time will that be ready at?

What time are you getting up at?

Will this be ready on time?

How much time do I have left?

How am I using my time?

I could overwhelm you with time questions all day. It all gets a bit exhausting, doesn't it? The world is obsessed with time. Time is money mentalities prevail in society. We want everything faster, quicker and on time. Are we losing our ability to be patient and embrace waiting? Is it making us more angry and less self-compassionate?

Time for a truth bomb!

No scientific experiment has ever been done or could be done to prove that time exists.

So, is time just a figment of our imagination?

One of the things I hear a lot in my work is my client's fear of wasting time in their life and career. I'm of the opinion we only waste time when we don't learn something valuable on reflection.

What went well?

What didn't go well?

What can I do better in my next attempt? (Note I purposely didn't use the word time there!)

And what if what could have been can still be when it comes to missed opportunity? Time can be used as an excuse to avoid taking action. I used it. I still do.

It's too late

I'm too old

I don't have the time to learn something new

I've missed a valuable opportunity

I'm wasting my time

I have missed many opportunities in my life and work but dwelling on it leads to procrastination. I end up in a doom loop of distraction. I enter the stagnation zone. Then I start to look outside of me for the answers. I scroll through LinkedIn seeking out self-help posts on time management and productivity!

Who doesn't love a good time management tip eh? But through self-assessment, a part of me feels that the time I have spent scrolling and reading is more of a band-aid to avoid taking action. I'm following the herd. In that space, I could just do it or as my colleague, Joe Hendley says to me #JFDI. And all without letting two hands on a dial dictate my output and measure of success.

What is the result of just doing it?

It is action and space to reflect on what true effectiveness looks like for me. I let go of the procrastination that comes with band-aiding my fear of wasting time. Don't get me wrong I am an advocate for time. I showed up ten minutes early for my wedding. There were guests walking up the aisle with me!

But there is a context in time as with everything else.

I value my time

I value my clients time

I like to be on time

I like my clients to be on time

When I working with clients I give them my time. I don't sit with a timer.

But how can we let go of our fear of wasting time and missing opportunity? Know that there is always time if you ensure your actions match your purpose no matter how many hours in the day there are.

Cue food for thought prompt...

Does our fear of wasting time gets confused with our fear of missing opportunities?

Efficiency is a beautiful thing for sure as it guards against the fear of wasted time. But true effectiveness is the key.

What is true effectiveness?

How do you define it in your life and work?

Do you remember Aesop’s fable of the goose and the golden egg?

One morning a farmer finds a glittering, golden-coloured egg sitting beneath his goose. At first, he thinks it is a prank, but he decides to have the egg appraised just in case.

To the farmer’s amazement, the egg is pure gold!

And each morning his prize goose continues laying the valuable eggs.

The farmer becomes extremely wealthy. But he also becomes greedy and impatient.

One day in his frustration the farmer kills the goose, hoping to get all of the golden eggs at once from inside the goose.

As we all know, the farmer finds nothing. And now, he has neither a goose nor any more golden eggs.

The moral of this story is normally about the danger of greed. The farmer grasped for too much wealth in too short of a time. But, there is a broader lesson about balance. There is always a tension between results and the ability to produce those results (aka effectiveness).  

Stephen Covey author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People refers to the story and describes the essence of effectiveness as:

“Effectiveness lies in the balance – what I call the P/PC Balance. P stands for production of desired results, the golden eggs. PC stands for production capability, the ability or asset that produces the golden eggs.

The more you produce, the more you do, the more effective you are.

But, true effectiveness is a function of two things:

1. What is produced (the golden eggs)

 2. The producing asset or capacity to produce (the goose).

If you adopt a pattern in your life and work that focuses on golden eggs and neglects the goose, you will soon be without the asset that produces golden eggs. If you only take care of the goose with no aim toward the golden eggs, you soon won’t have the ability to feed yourself or the goose.

Either extreme is a problem. So, you have to strive for a balance between the two. And that delicate balance is the essence of effectiveness.

True effectiveness lies in the balance. It lies in knowing what it looks like for you. It is very individual and we must respect our definition of it and avoid making comparisons.

True effectiveness is strategic.

Let’s take a moment to consider the theory of P/PC balance Covey gave us around balance in our lives and career.

Am I balanced in my life and work?

Am I balancing my production and my production capacity?

Do I need to reconsider my priorities?

What is the moral of the story overall?

Don’t kill your goose.

You can pick up a copy of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People here.

Let's return to the fear of wasted time? What re-frame can you use to let go of that fear?

I would invite you to consider:

What is your definition of time?

Here is mine...

It is respect and space.

Respect for what I have achieved even if that is only one thing in the space of twenty-four hours.

Respect for space I have created to achieve this one thing.

Respect for the space I've created to reflect on opportunity and learn from it. It's letting go of the tick-tock of the clock measuring my success and output.

It's being compassionate enough to understand that I may not achieve anything in twenty-four hours except waking up and being grateful for my breath. It is knowing that is enough.

My energy is focused on true effectiveness in my life and work to create impact.

That is what will create a legacy in my life and work.

For more on career coaching and consulting see here

The Startup of Me. Heavy vs Lean Pivoting.

In 2014 I was five stone overweight and chronically ill.

It was a pivotal point in my life which led me on to many more.

No specific eureka moment drove me to change my life radically. Instead, there were lots of sharp pain points. I had much shrapnel to pull out and let the wounds heal. It was only then that I moved forward. I was a creature of habit, but us humans are complicated things.

So I had to challenge myself to succeed in a new environment and under new conditions.

How?

By re-calibrating. You can read more about how I lost the weight on Thrive Global if interested. I had to make the exercise and nutrition go from being an activity to a ritual.

A ritual to save my life and enable me to go from one pivot to the next.

You have to make your body your no one priority in a pivot. You need every cell to be high functioning. You will be in overdrive answering difficult questions. Willpower is a limited resource.

The extra stressors can lead to over sensitivity. Health fluctuations that may not have affected you in the past can do so now.

With a change, you have to safeguard your emotional and physical health to succeed. Numbing out stress with food and alcohol is not advisable. Test yourself and see what your triggers are.

What elevates your mood, creativity and physical and emotional resilience?

What kills it?

A glass of wine or two is fine but reaching for a third when you have to wake up the next day and wrestle with complex pivot questions is not good. You be the judge find what works for you and practice it consistently.

Get the basics of good sleep, exercise and nutrition in place. Strip your life down to the most productive and healthy ones, so you have a clean system to operate from daily

Kick the crutch and ace the goal.

What rituals have helped you in a transition or pivot?

Would you be willing to share them in the comments below?

You never know who you could have an impact on today.

For more details on consulting packages see here . To book a ten minute complimentary call email me at pauline@paulineharley.com

What Core Needs Must My Career Meet?

Have you ever created the space to ask yourself these questions?

Maybe you could find some time in this new month to do so.

Here are some prompts and further thought-provoking to help you with this valuable exercise. 

Personal and Professional Values:

What is most important to you in the next one to three years?

What are your values around this?

What do you really need in your life and how do you envision your career attributing to it?

Things like financial security, benefits and stability matter.

Time is a factor also. It is one of your most valuable resources. 

How much freedom and flexibility would you like?

Self-fulfilment:

Intrinsic 
How much personal growth, learning and impact do you want to have?

We all need to feel like we are progressing and part of something to build our self-esteem and natural confidence.

Extrinsic
What about your job title? Does it matter to you?

Are prestige and authority important to you?

Relationships:

What type of people do you like to work with?

What type of company culture is important for you to thrive?

What teamwork do you enjoy?

Are workplace friendships important to you?

What management opportunities exist for you?

Mobility:

What movement would you prefer in your role?

Is there freedom from repetition?

It is one of the biggest reasons I see people come to me in my practice!

Boredom from repetition can result in demotivation, decreased confidence and low impact.

You might think all of these are important at present and they very well may be.

But it is crucial to prioritise the most important ones in the present moment.

Then you can begin to create an actionable career vision for the next few years.

If you are having difficulty doing this at present  this final question may elicit the most important answers for you in time:

What is missing from your current role?

Feel free to contact me to discuss in more detail. Happy to help as always.

For more details on consulting packages see here. You can also book a one-off consultation at a discounted cost here

How To Get Your Career Off The Ground

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How can we get our careers off the ground and going in the direction we want?

My son Ian left Dublin on Saturday morning for Orlando on his first ever business trip! He has two weeks of learning and adventure ahead. I am super excited for him.

With a few tears in my eyes steaming up my sunglasses, I said goodbye and gave him a big hug.

His trip prompted me to write about something many of us face in our lives. How to get our careers off the ground and going in the direction we want?

At present, you might be feeling a bit "meh" in your role. You might be feeling somewhat undervalued. You know you are capable of so much more but are stuck with what to do next or what direction to take.

That is okay! You are not alone in this regard.

A quick question for you staying in line with the theme of travel before I dive in.

When you are planning your holidays, what is the first thing you think about?

Destination, right?

Where do you want to go and why?

Who will you be when you get there?

What will it look and feel like?

Many people including myself in the past do not allow themselves to take off in their careers. The reason I see show up most is because they do not know who they want to be.

People ask you over and over since you were a kid, what do you want to be when you grow up? We should make a point of not asking kids this anymore. It is one of the worst questions you could ever ask a young person today.

Because the future of work is changing daily. Our attitudes towards our careers need to keep evolving.

What we should be asking is whom do you want to be when you grow up?

Or as most of us are grown-ups here now we should be asking ourselves on a regular basis:

Who am I?

The answer to this question will take its shape on the foundation of our values and beliefs.

Then the direction in which we choose to go will also lie in acknowledging that careers are non-linear. Non-linear career paths are now the norm.

You know that dream job, that one job for life, is actually kind of done, it’s over. Your career can go in any direction you choose if you are prepared to do the work and research needed to get it to take off.

Today it is quite possible you are not going to have one career, one dream job and one profession. We need to consider our thought process around who we are and how our work needs to evolve to compliment this.

Instead of looking at career paths or job titles it makes more sense to look "underneath" these derailers.

Consider what binds us and our careers together? 9 times out of 10 it will be our values and who we are.

Soon many jobs will face disruption or transition in some way. A former role could unlock many others career paths. Ones to world of opportunity and new direction.

Research has shown that when a person trains or works in one job they gain skills for 13 other jobs.

Many young and older generations are stuck training for and working in jobs that may not exist in the future. It is not a reason to be fearful or disheartened. We should look at it as an opportunity to learn more about who you are and what you can bring to the future of work.

The good news is we have moved on from this mindset and ladder of succession:

"Go to school, go to college, get a good job, work hard and if you’re ‘living the dream’, retire when you’re 65.”

You don't have to climb that ladder anymore. The world is our gym and playground to discover more. We are more inspired and open to change than ever, and more interested in what’s happening around us.

We all have the head and hearts to negotiate the direction our careers can go in and overcome any challenges that may show up in the process. Once we stay grounded in our values and who we when we start to take off.

How can you transfer your skill set and reach another career destination?

What direction do you want to go in?

What is the fist step that will allow you to get off the ground?

The sky’s the limit.

To finish consider this for reflection.

Perhaps the real question to ask ourselves when we wake up in the morning and as this new month begins is:

"What is the world that I want to create by being who I am?”

For more details on consulting packages see here . To book a ten minute complimentary call email me at pauline@paulineharley.com

Should We Make A Career Pivot During A Crisis?

First, we need to clarify the difference between a crisis and a pivot point in life.

Well, in life stuff happens that knocks the wind out of us and can break us down. The death of a loved one, illness, losing our jobs, all these events are traumatic. Calling them pivot points would be an would be an understatement.

A pivot point is something we make of our own choice. It is within our control. It is when we reach a point in our lives or career when we are ready to take on a challenge and create more impact. The other events mentioned above are out of our control. 

When specific events happen in our lives, we need to create the space to heal and be patient. Sometimes we need extra help and guidance in the process. Some days sometimes waking up is our definition of success for that week. I have had a few of them in the past following traumatic events in my life. 

A crisis will need more processing than planning. But not all will have the luxury to do those two things in sequence. When we are facing a crisis having time to heal is vital before embarking on the more proactive phases of a pivot.

In a lot of cases, painful life events serve as a huge wake-up call. They can encourage us to change direction and realign our values and purpose. They challenge us to focus on what matters most. When I healed from past trauma I was ready to process it in more detail. Then I could plan the way forward and what pivots to make in my life for the better. 

One book I can recommend to read if you are ready is "When Things Fall Apart" by Perma Chodron. You can read a summary of the book here.

When you are in crisis mode, it is often one of the worst times to make big life and career decisions. Career decisions and mid life pivots should be well thought out. It is very easy to suffer from what I call a false sense of reality when in crisis. Sometimes it can be a distraction from the healing process to avoid more conflict in addressing a situation in our lives.

When we look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs below, to fulfil the higher requirements, you need to have the lower level needs met. You will need to have enough food to eat, a dry, safe, place to sleep and a sense of belonging. It is only when you have the bottom 2 or 3 levels fulfilled before you want to take on a career pivot.

Here is an example of a situation where someone wanted to pivot mid-life and mid-crisis.

John was a 50+ and experiencing uncertainty in his career. He had spent 20 years in a now defunct industry in IT, and had been working on pivoting his way out of it for a while.

He had transitioned his sales and marketing skills into a completely different industry. He had held a variety of full-time and contract positions. All these positions came to an end due to that business failing, and he was made redundant.

Then there was the "other stuff" in life that he could not ignore:

• His marriage had recently broke down, and he was getting divorced.

• The family home was being sold.

With all this going on, he was in crisis mode. He was sick of what he was doing and had no idea what direction to go in next.

Is this a wise time to make a big, bold and brave move? No!

What are the steps he should consider to avoid further stress and chaos in life?

1. Work On Getting Out of Crisis Mode.

Sometimes we need to make compromises and return to jobs or careers that we want to leave to create the foundations to assist us to move on.

2. Start A Side Hustle First.

Keep the day job but start a side project that you can grow. When the side hustle grows large enough to provide you with an income, you can then step out of your day job.

3. Find Someone To Hold You Accountable.

Try to find an accountability partner that you can check in with on a regular basis. This will help keep your next move in focus and not let it pass you by.

This is no different than a work out partner. Find someone who is willing to hold you accountable.

4. Get a Job Similar To Your Former Role.

What is the best way to assist in getting out of crisis mode first?

Find a job, a steady income and safe place to live. The key is to think of this as temporary, for 1 or 2 years.

You can still do a good job and learn more transferable skills even if it is not exactly what you want to do in the future. You can do this without getting too invested into it. Many people are fearful that if they take a job like their former role, they will get absorbed into it. Then they will never make time to find their purpose in a pivot. In other words, they think they might work themselves into crisis again.

You won't if you put proper boundaries in place to pursue your purpose.

For more details on consulting packages see here . To book a ten minute complimentary call email me at pauline@paulineharley.com

Why It's Important to Create Purposeful Pivot Relationships.

How do you craft purposeful pivot relationships that keep you motivated and moving forward?

It's so important to have the right people around you in life and business. But even more so when you decide to make a significant transition. Whenever I’ve gone through a major life or career pivot, having these types of people by my side has been pure gold.

1. Someone who’s doing what you want to do.

I always try to surround myself with people whom I admire. Professionals who gain satisfaction from their work, and people who achieve their vision. To do so, I have had to be brave enough to reach out and ask for their help and advice. These powerful conversations provide me with a clearer picture of what I am getting into. But they also help me draw a more realistic road map of what it takes to break into my chosen industry. 

I am still pursuing my career in coaching and consulting building my practice day by day. One successful career coach suggested I invest in getting more business mentoring and skills. I was ready to spend more time and money into gaining more coaching credentials. But I don't need these at present. However, I did need business mentoring. I missed that piece for a while! It's okay I am only human.

I completed a digital marketing qualification to further my branding and message. This has been of great benefit to me and the business. It has informed my work and also reinforced my credibility. It has been valuable advice. I have gained more knowledge thanks to their advice and perspective.

2. Someone you admire who has followed an alternative and different career path.

Everyone’s career path is individual to them. There’s no right or wrong way to go about your career. You have to trust your gut. Reality is employers and recruiters can favor candidates who have clear-cut career stories. Ones that don't take a lot of explaining.

But who wants to be boring? I teach people how to tell their career stories with a good narrative to grab the right kind of attention!

So have you’ve decided to step off a traditional career path? Then connect with people who have taken courageous steps in their careers. It will help remind you that what you’re seeking is possible. They can remind you that the difficulties you’re running into are normal.

3. A good friend who doesn’t work in your chosen industry.

When I decided to walk away from my insurance career in 2015, there were people in the industry who didn’t understand why I made this choice. They wondered why I would not return to the profession in another role. 

Working in any environment for a significant period of time can mold you to think a certain way. Often in ways, you don’t realize at the time. We can all fall into the trap of focusing on a job title or having a certain salary defined as a measure of success. 

That’s why reconnecting with a good friend outside your industry is key. A friend who plays by a different set of rules and can help you gain a fresh perspective. And one that can help you determine whether what you’re focused on matters to you.

I have had many conversations with good friends that help ground me in my true aspirations. A good friend can remind you of who you used to be when you were happier and more energised. They can help you reality-check whether the move you’re considering is in line with the person you want to become.

Navigating any transition is a very personal journey. I am someone who’s not always great at asking for help. I sometimes feel like I have to figure it all out on my own. During these confusing times when I’ve made a point to reach out to the people above, I gained more clarity and focus.

As Jim Collins advocates in Good to Great, first, if you begin with “who,” rather than “what,” you can more easily adapt to a changing world. Remember having the right people in your circle can speed up your change.

For more details on consulting packages see here . To book a ten minute complimentary call email me at pauline@paulineharley.com

The Life-Changing Magic of Losing Your Shit and Getting It Back Again.

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Have you lost your magic? Do you believe you can get it back?

Despite all the courage I can muster, the fact is that losing your health and happiness for over 12 years sucked. I work with people on life and career pivots and transitioning because of my experience. I always say don't let my past become your future. 

The irony is though without that past I would not be here sharing this blog post with the world. 

Truth is, however, something of this magnitude is traumatic. Years on from it all and having regained it all back I still feel the panic. Even when I write about my experiences there is a tightness in my body.

It is still there the reality that I could lose it all again. You take nothing for granted but you grant yourself space and grace to keep it this way. 

But that takes hard work. It takes showing up even when you don't want to. It takes being vulnerable. It takes being able to adapt to change. I am always evolving for the better on a physical and emotional level.

I compare myself to shapeshifter! A bit magical and mystical in my ability to transform my physical and mental shape or form.

It comes with my nutrition and training knowledge! Every time I train to build or cut similar to my former bodybuilding background I reveal or add on layers.

In each of these layers, I discover something more valuable about myself. Being able to manipulate my training and nutrition to achieve a certain physical shape is probably more science than magic! But in my world that magic is my medicine.

I am privileged to be able to do that. I have the backup of people who believe in me to sustain and maintain this state of well being. An important point to note here is to stick with the people who pull the magic out of you and not the madness! 

I take full responsibility for losing my shit. The truth is, losing things that matter most is a harsh reminder that circumstances can change in an instant. 

For me, it’s left a long adrenaline hangover that makes my thoughts frantic at times and my focus a bit distracted. 

It makes life uncertain. But, isn't that the way it is supposed to be? Without uncertainty, there is no risk. Without risk, there are no answers. I ask myself these questions a lot about my life, health and my business. The fear is real. 

What if I lose it?

Will I get it back?

I replay how it might happen in a thousand different ways. But somewhere amidst the fear and frustration and guilt is the adrenaline fix of having to start all over again. 

And I know I can. So can you.

As I grow older, my transitions from one stage of my life to the next have become less hurried. Rather than full-on restarts, change now looks like layers. The layers I spoke of before. Ones that I add on in a slow and controlled manner and then peel away. 

This grounds me in the reality that anything worth having takes time but is possible.

It is also a reminder of what’s fragile, and what’s robust. We as humans are resilient if we reinforce our belief in ourselves. I remind myself that losing my shit even though it sucked is the ultimate version of reinvention. 

Life can be brutal at times. It takes things away at random. Then it makes you fight to get them back so that you remember and reaffirm the value of each one. So each new week and month, I start over and over again, and I peel away more layers to reveal something new and more magic as I write this. 

What magic have you lost that you want to work on getting back? 

For more details on consulting packages see here .

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My Mid-Life Crisis Taught Me How To Pivot!

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What can a mid-life crisis teach you about pivoting?

Lots, mine certainly did not kill me it built me to be more resilient, focused and go after what I want in life.

Whether you’re leaving: 

1. A secure job and an MBA with many years of learning and experience under your belt 

Or 

2. A teaching role for a career as a personal trainer.

Don’t be afraid to pivot later in life. After all, your 40's are a chance to redefine and rediscover yourself. You are young enough still to take chances and old enough to make them more wisely. You can still move in different directions. That may work for some, but for others, it can mean starting back at the bottom of each new industry. 

That is the risk you have to be sure you are willing to take. 

Do you want to find an industry you love or the freedom that comes with being your own boss? 

For me, my pivots now make sense as mad as they seemed at the time! 

When I look back, I see the story of my life and career. It’s not random it is exciting. It made me more interesting and relatable. Believe me, if I can do it so can you!

Here’s an idea of how I pulled it off. 

1. What does your gut tell you? 

One useful piece advice I can give you is to stick with your gut. Assess what you’re really good at to help direct your move, even if it doesn’t feel “strategic.” 

It’s not that you shouldn’t be rational about your pivot, but honing in on your strengths and what gets you fired up is the first step to figure out what to do next. 

2. Leverage your skills. 

If you’re looking to pivot into a new industry or business ownership make sure to highlight your “transferable skills.” There is a lot that can count as transferable. 

Yes, of course, you will need to develop other skill sets, but what do you have now in your success bank to withdraw? 

Finally, a word of comfort... 

Having a mid 40's career crisis is nothing new, but the rates at which people are doing something about it are increasing. Look for inspiration and expand your network with people who have pivoted and overcome challenges in the process.

Staying current and doing work that gives us purpose and fulfillment in align with our values is why so many of us take the risk. You are not too old, and it is never too late to redefine yourself. 

Don’t let fear hold you back. You’ll wind up someplace better, even if it takes you awhile to get there. 

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Be patient. 

For more details on career or pivot coaching and consulting contact me at pauline@paulineharley.com. You can join my waitlist for a complimentary consultation here.