Have you lost your magic? Do you believe you can get it back?
Despite all the courage I can muster, the fact is that losing your health and happiness for over 12 years sucked. I work with people on life and career pivots and transitioning because of my experience. I always say don't let my past become your future.
The irony is though without that past I would not be here sharing this post with the world on a Monday morning.
Truth is, however, something of this magnitude is traumatic. Years on from it all and having regained it all back I still feel the panic. Even when I write about my experiences there is a tightness in my body. It is still there the reality that I could lose it all again. You take nothing for granted but you grant yourself space and grace to keep it this way.
But that takes hard work. It takes showing up even when you don't want to. It takes being vulnerable. It takes being able to adapt to change. I am always evolving for the better on a physical and emotional level.
I compare myself to shapeshifter! A bit magical and mystical in my ability to transform my physical and mental shape or form. It comes with my nutrition and training knowledge! Every time I train to build or cut similar to my former bodybuilding background I reveal or add on layers.
In each of these layers, I discover something more valuable about myself. Being able to manipulate my training and nutrition to achieve a certain physical shape is probably more science than magic! But in my world that magic is my medicine.
I am privileged to be able to do that. I have the backup of people who believe in me to sustain and maintain this state of well being. An important point to note here is to stick with the people who pull the magic out of you and not the madness!
I take full responsibility for losing my shit. The truth is, losing things that matter most is a harsh reminder that circumstances can change in an instant. For me, it’s left a long adrenaline hangover that makes my thoughts frantic at times and my focus a bit distracted.
It makes life uncertain. But, isn't that the way it is supposed to be? Without uncertainty, there is no risk. Without risk, there are no answers. I ask myself these questions a lot about my life, health and my business. The fear is real.
What if I lose it?
Will I get it back?
I replay how it might happen in a thousand different ways. But somewhere amidst the fear and frustration and guilt is the adrenaline fix of having to start all over again.
And I know I can. So can you.
As I grow older, my transitions from one stage of my life to the next have become less hurried. Rather than full-on restarts, change now looks like layers. The layers I spoke of before. Ones that I add on in a slow and controlled manner and then peel away.
This grounds me in the reality that anything worth having takes time but is possible. It is also a reminder of what’s fragile, and what’s robust. We as humans are resilient if we reinforce our belief in ourselves. I remind myself that losing my shit even though it sucked is the ultimate version of reinvention.
Life can be brutal at times. It takes things away at random. Then it makes you fight to get them back so that you remember and reaffirm the value of each one. So on this Monday, I start over again, and I peel away more layers to reveal something new and more magic as I write this.
What magic have you lost that you can get back this week?
Want to get that magic back?
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